treadmill.

my mind incessantly asks questions that i can’t answer
so i run away, chasing those answers
i run and run and run
until i can’t breathe
until my feet give way beneath me
There seems to be no answer
I’ve been running forever
I just want to lie down on the dirty, muddy ground
and let the rain wash over me
beg the rain to drown me
But I can’t
I can’t lie down and I can’t keep on running but I can’t stop either
I can’t stop running because…there’s something chasing me
I can hear its panting,its growl,its lamentation, its pleading
the Questions
I’m not going to lie anymore. I wasn’t looking for answers
I just wanted the questions to stop!
stopstopstopstopstop just fucking STOP!!!!
I want to avoid myself, yet there they are, the questions, murmuring, tugging at my attention
I want to pretend I’m happy like all these other people, yet there they are, the questions, begging me to look within
I want to scoop my heart out like ice-cream and leave it in the sun to melt, so that I can be free, yet there they are, the questions

I’m not going to lie anymore. I keep running, yet I can’t escape what I’m dreading
I can’t escape the fear in me that scares the shit out of me
I can’t escape this dark and secretive cluster of fears that run an intricate network throughout my body
The answers lie behind this cluster of fears
but I want to remain ignorant, for just one more day.

Respond to treadmill.

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