I was inspired to write this after reading Flickering Lights blog  on the issue of doubt and anti-theism. I had been brooding over this for some time, but hers was the straw. Check her blog out by the way, beautiful stuff.


As today’s society has shifted from a religious trajectory to a secular one, it’s caused so much confusion that in pure terror, people find it easier to reject religion altogether than sift through it all. In reality, it’s moving to the other extreme of the spectrum because finding your truth is a lifelong journey and isn’t limited to spirituality. This journey is unsettling because it entails change,uncertainty,doubts and painful emotions. In the face of this, it’s easier to take to anti-theism and say there is no uncertainty. Faith is essentially uncertain; anything abstract can’t be empirically verified and is up for individual study. Whether it be worldview,self-esteem or life philosophy, nothing is set in stone.

When people ask for hard-set proof of a deity, they are looking for the answer without pondering the question. Life is not about answers; imagine if you now were told who’d you will marry, how many kids you will have, what vocation you will end up in and when you’ll die- how dull would it be? It’s the element of uncertainty that life’s essence is contained within. It is when you don’t know for sure that you mull over something and have to make a choice.

The underlying motive of the growing inclination towards anti-theism can be observed in other walks of life; the education system,politics,relationships,jobs, to mention a few.

People flock to dodgy self-help gurus to get the formula for a consistent and ‘happy’ life. One where they won’t have to deal with terrible bouts of gray areas. We’re told that we must take to the traditional educational system in order to attain ‘stability’. Cast dreams and hobbies aside, for those are uncertain and there’s the risk of failure. Google ‘dating advice’ and you’ll find it awash with countless articles and blogs that are in essence imparting on the reader a technique in manipulating the opposite gender into falling for one. Rarely do you see people espousing the outrageous idea to be oneself, for that couldn’t possibly garner the status of being a sex symbol. Being vulnerable is a naive idea that is far too risky to dabble in. Besides, who is the individual divorced from the crowd?

We are stuck in a hamster wheel of society-endorsed drudgery and emotional slavery. We want out; we want to travel around the world,become carpenters and writers,throw our masks in the air and stand in our naked personalities. We want to awake each morn raring to get started and come back each evening with an experience. We don’t want a Monday to Friday schedule to replace our lives. We don’t want to study 3-4 years in university to end up fighting for jobs alongside high school drop-outs who have 4 years of work experience as leverage over us.

We don’t want this, but then again, what do we want? It’s in this question that contains the fear,uncertainty,avant-garde that has us clinging to drudgery,because at least it’s socially acceptable. It’s stable. Everyone does it, and everyone’s miserable together.

No two days are the same, even though they all follow the same dynamics; dawn,noon,evening,night. But what separates today from yesterday isn’t the arbitrary weekdays assigned to them, but it’s the unscripted experiences we encounter within them. Likewise, no two people are the same; don’t let anyone pigeonhole you to a tiny nook where you have to huddle up to be as inconspicuous as possible. Don’t let anyone mock your emotions and don’t let anyone instill their fears in you.

You were born with a soul that has in it everything you need; learn to listen to it, to your heart. Risk the fear and pain because those are the only bridges to bravery and tranquillity. Follow the trails of questions in your mind and don’t expect people to understand you,because they don’t even understand themselves.

Live before you die.

4 responses to Avant-garde

  1. So, I absolutely love this. And I’m honored to have inspired you! It’s beautifully written. And uncomfortably true. I’ve experienced it so often. I’m a musician, and I decided a few years back to switch from being a psychology major to a music major, and people don’t understand it. I actually had some mean old lady once tell me that I was dumb and should switch majors because I’m never going to make any money. People want certainly. Uncertainty isn’t reliable, and therefore shouldn’t be given value. There’s something I’ve been thinking about lately and that is why it seems so easy and appealing to fall into atheism when it’s such a terribly unappealing prospect. I think it is the certainty in it. Or semblance of certainty anyway. In a way, by searching for truth I’ve started to grasp how profoundly unknowable some things are. Atheism is a finite explanation. It’s something you can wrap your brain around and a philosophy that places the world and the universe in a nicely fitted box. There is no God. The universe happened naturally. I am a little speck that came from another little speck. Although it’s a rather depressing prospect, at least their is security in that certainty. The problem is, I have trouble believing that the world fits in that box. It lacks so much depth and uncertainty. It lacks our own experience of love and beauty and desire. It lacks something significant. It lacks a lot of things that are significant. Sorry for rambling, just felt inspired 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Midnight Blahs – Author

      You know, it’s interesting that you mentioned the demeaning lady because that’s another thing people do to rid themselves of the cognitive dissonance that is brought forth by someone doing what their inner selves is burning for, but can’t because they don’t want instability. It’s fear. They want one to fail,to be wrong, to be gullible so as to wag a finger at them and say ‘see, i KNEW it!’. You’ll find this in any extremists; militant atheists, racists,religious extremist; they cling so hard to a worldview that they can control by knowing everything, that seeing someone embracing instability and following their dreams threatens their very identity.


      • It’s so very true. I have a friend that I work with who is an evangelical atheist (there’s quite a lot of those, I’ve found…the kind who always feel the need to preach their own atheism) and I can feel his discomfort when I talk to him about the possibility of God because he knows I’m smart. He knows he can’t group me in with his idea of all Christians or religious people in general as being dumb, blind followers of a kind of insanity. It’s so interesting to me that the idea of a God is so uncomfortable for him. People hold so tightly to their own ideas about things. It seems like such narcissism to me to look around and not at least see the possibility or potential for God. The more I examine my own questions, the more I realize how much I don’t understand, how much we can’t understand. It seems so odd to me to walk around pretending that we can simply explain away the complexity through some formula. Because WHY do the formulas work. Why is there logic, math, physical laws. I would love for an atheist to explain that to me. I would love for someone to give me an explanation that doesn’t point to an infinity because I have yet to receive one.


      • Midnight Blahs – Author

        You know, I was watching a debate held by al Jazeera with Richard Dawkins, who is a staunch militant atheist, and I was flabbergasted to say the least at the blind following and lack of objectivity in a man who prides himself with science and logic. Watch it here, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0Xn60Zw03A

        it is quite telling and might answer you the question of what this neo-atheistic fundamentalism is all about. It’s essentially a religion- which is a set of beliefs.


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