I Can’t Pretend

We are all merchants of our souls, putting the best on display behind deceiving plexiglass and fancy neon signs. But what of the not so good or even the worst in us? Surely it’s contained in there somewhere, only coming out of hiding once it’s lured a poor unwitting soul into its emotional traps. I hate that.

What do I do with a cracked soul? When my soul has broken down, cracked under the pressure of perfectionistic demands of a faceless Others? When I don’t want to live in the shadow of my flaws, constantly hiding behind a fake persona so much I become it.

I’m insecure,impatient,negative,confident,kind,selfless,depressed,generous,bipolar – I’m not these adjectives, but I’m the verbs that I do with what I have become and right now I’m not going to run, I’m not going to convince you, I’m not going pretend because I can’t pretend anymore. I’m trying to navigate through rough waters and to see clearly I choose to shed this mask of pretence .